Sunday, October 17, 2010

Baby dedications ... and Garden Mourning

Today we celebrated with some baby dedications at our church. These are precious to me.

Uniquely, we stood up with all three couples and prayed as they dedicated. One family are friends from our home group, one family are friends simply because we love them, and one family are friends from playing on Chris's HOP team. We love all of them and their precious little ones.

Today was a celebration, however, I had to actually hold back some tears.

See, we would have been dedicating Cadence today.

It was a little hard, when it hit me that this was the first set of dedications since what would have been his birth date.

I'm sure there will come a time that I do not measure the days like this. but that time isn't now.

As I sat in church and recalled what happened yesterday morning, I was touched by how important my grief and understanding are to God.

I went out yesterday morning to put the tomato plants back out in the sun from there nightly reprieve from cold in the garage. One of the newly placed raised beds had a stone knocked over and my first thought was "raccoons" since there have been foot prints in the dust. However, there was a strange sight in that raised bed. A hawk must have made a kill in that bed and knocked over the stone.

There were three things left behind...

(if you are weak in the stomach, read no further)


There was a large tuft of rabbit fur.

There was an intact intestine. (they won't eat it)

There was an unborn rabbit carcass. (wild, huh)

Hubby disposed of it all for me. (My hero)

Today in church I was going to write down but as soon as I wrote:

"Garden in Morning"

The Lord called His word play to my attention ...

"Garden in Mourning"


But lovely to hear from Him always.

He holds my heart and holds me up,


Saturday, October 2, 2010


I released this balloon for our precious tiny one.

Precious people.

Hundreds of balloons were released,

as hundreds of babies names were read aloud.
It was a beautiful and windy day,
carrying the individual balloons away,
and lifting the large balloon groups up.

Cadence's balloon got stuck in a tree.

like he was stuck in my tube
then released to Worship God Forever.

Thank God for good friend support.

I miss my tiny person.

this is the link to the STL Today article

We want another child, but losing him
took my natural ability to create another.
I could have IVF.
If I had $14 K.
somehow the amount makes it seem simply selfish
even though adoption is twice that.
So, I'll just sing...
If I had a Million dollars...
hum along now.