Sunday, January 10, 2010

I should clarify...

I believe in LIFE.

I always have. Truly, since I was 15 ... I knew in the deepest part of my heart, should anything ever happen with me, where I was faced with that tough decision... I would choose Life.

Even in the darkest moments of not walking with God ... Life was my choice, should there be a choice.

I simply always thought this way. Without taking some stand, It is what I believe. It is the Truth of the Gospel of Yeshua ... Light of the World, Life, Peace, Truth. Simple.

Except not always simple to understand. Scripturally, He does not promise us understanding. Though Solomon asked and received it. I ask Lord for understanding. Mer

I have a very dear friend who was faced with a difficult pregnancy decision. It is becoming all too common to hear that people are given the "option" to delete the life that is growing within them, due to birth defect(s).

Again, I am not looking to debate here ... I am simply outwardly processing my grief over losing our tiny Cadence; with personal experience I am thinking of.

So, back to my friend. At ~20 weeks pregnant, they were given the option to end the life of their baby due to defect(s). Practically argued with over their immediate "No". At which point, they left the doctors office and, praying unceasingly throughout the pregnancy, brought that precious little man into the world, very much alive. He survived and is thriving.

In my heart, it is hard not to think back and re-think again all that transpired December 1st.

I keep wondering ... what if I had simply walked out after the ultrasound? I wanted to run out.

Would I still be here to raise my precious children? Might Cadence still be a beating heart within my body? Might God have given us a miracle and moved him into my womb?

Likely the answer to all those questions is NO.

Torturous questions? maybe... but a brilliant mind seems like such a terrible thing to waste by not thinking of everything.

I am nothing if not thorough.

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