The cost of being a follower...

sometimes,

you stumble across word someone else has written and you know that you know that you know that God is speaking, quite clearly to YOUR heart.

I pulled the following paragraph from my favorite missionary to Haiti 's blog.
Let me preface:

Last week, I had a choice.

Go to my Aunt's funeral about 5 hours away. OR

Go to Jeff City (about 2 hours away) and Apostille all the documents for our adoption.

and after some deliberation, I knew what I had to do.

I texted my Dad. I told him I was sorry we could not make it to the funeral. I felt bad. I knew one of my sisters and one of my brothers would be there... and that my family would be "missing it" AGAIN.

Insert note here about AGAIN: I have the children who cannot come to funerals and it has caused lack of understanding in the past. My boys have been set apart to God since before birth under a Nazarite vow (think Samuel and Samson), which simply means we are raising them to be priests. And the biblical rules that we adhere to for them are that we do not cut their hair, they eat no fruit of the vine and cannot be around dead things, including people. They are daily given instruction in the house of the Lord. It's in the bible, under Numbers 6.

They missed my mother's funeral and will likely miss more in the future. and I am sorry, but while they are small, that means likely I will miss them too.
It hurts my heart that these people who are supposed to be closest to me, my family... Simply do not completely get me... possibly never have...possibly never will.

Now back to my thoughts...

anyway...

I was faced with a choice, and I know timing is a HUGE issue for our adoption. They need our paperwork, yesterday. The children that we thought we were headed toward referral for and now the (different) children that we are headed for NEED us to be ready, paper ready, yesterday. So Apostille wins.

Side note: (cause it is fun to insert it here)
Apostille is the secretary of state attaching a document to your already notarized document, saying that the notary is current and this is, in fact a certified notarized copy of your original document. And the SOS document is attached (at least here in Missouri) with a beautiful gold pointy sticker seal. It's pretty people. Something to see at least once in your life.

and we had 100 pages to be Apostilled for our Dossier. Good Times People, Good Times. Really, it was, we went to lunch while they did this part of the paperwork... I had a fabulous manicotti and split it and a great house salad with my love. but I digress, again...

So we went to Jeff city and our entire hosting experience changed in a phone call on the way. And we said yes to God. And He confirmed we were headed on the right path with it all (with a phone call during that phone call). and my heart broke, again. and I simply said Yes to His will and His purposes. They are all His children. all 149 million of them, and I am glad to give 2 a forever family.

Translation: we thought we would be hosting two fabulous sisters, and we will now be hosting two fabulous brothers.

But I digress (apparently a LOT in this post)

so today I read my favorite blog and I get a big sloppy wet kiss from God that I am right in the middle of His will for our lives and the orphans He has for us. I love it.

This is what I read:
In my NIV Bible, the header above Luke 9:57-62 says, “The Cost of Following Jesus.” Here it is, plain and simple, laid out for us by the Lord. “As they were walking along the road, a man said to Jesus, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” He said to another man, “Follow me.” But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my Father.” Jesus said to Him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

and I knew that I knew that I knew. I was supposed to miss the funeral and instead drive to Jeff City for Apostille, so that our dossier could be in Latvia sooner. (because adoption is His will for our lives, a part of our testimony.) and the boys that are coming need our paperwork done and our funds all raised right now! ... because the referral for them will come with travel approval and the time to go will be immediately.

and for anyone who needs clarification:
We are adopting Internationally. We heard the Lord say: Siblings and Latvia.
We are utilizing a hosting program, separate from our adoption agency, yet connected in that it shortens our time in country bonding with our children, and it allows us to ask for specific referral when we send our dossier.
Our funds for all hosting have been paid by us. and are totally separate from our adoption.
Our funds for adoption are still being raised. (we still have 2/3 to raise)
Our referral is not complete until Latvia approves our dossier, and the children we asked for or even the children we host, may not be referred to us until Latvia approves it.
Our dossier is now in Latvia. Awaiting translation and approval for referral.
The boys we are hosting are in need of their forever family now. The situation they are in requires. it.
:)
and all I have to do is say Yes, Lord send me.
done.

I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you. John 14:18