Friday, December 11, 2009

HOPE...

God of Miracles! God of Healing!
God of Hope!

Today ... I am grateful He is God.

We have many good friends who are pregnant. In many various stages... M is 20 weeks with a sweet little girl!, E is 12 weeks, and L is 14 weeks, and now S is 5 weeks pregnant! I also have a few friends via blog that are expecting. Pregnancy all around me and it has been this way for over 3 months! LIFE! LIFE! LIFE! It is a blessing to have this much expectancy of new life surrounding me.

Now, miraculously, we have friends pregnant who never expected to be pregnant again. Our friends have a beautiful daughter, adopted a beautiful daughter from China and are in process of adopting a child from Ethiopia ... and now against medical odds, are expecting their second biological child in July of next year. (she had ectopic pregnancies, so this is powerful) Truly an answer to many prayers that have been sent forth on their behalf, prayers that looked like they were returning void for over 8 years... and yet... He is God. His ways are not our ways.
Truly miraculous. Now to become a family of 6... sweet dreams fulfilling.

also ... for me on a very personal level ...

Truly HOPE inspiring.

Because, after this recent ectopic pregnancy, I am left with too many questions.

Another pregnancy could be ectopic again... or worse.

My tube was sectioned to remove our precious tiny ... will it scar completely closed OR will there be an opening into my abdomen?

Am I still fertile? Does my other tube function?

So, HOW am I to ever hope for pregnancy? HOPE for another child.

Not to sound dis-satisfied with my current blessings... they are Fabulous. We simply believe we are not yet finished having children... have believed it for over 4 years.

so, in the midst of doubt, dispair, general emotional attack ...

I have been crying out to God ... HOW do I HOPE ??? HOW do I rest in YOU ???


Well, I know I believe my scripture Jeremiah 29:11

and I can look to my miraculous God ... who is still performing miracles and giving hope

and now after a couple of weeks of hopelessness, with small bursts of hope obliterated thrown in... my sweet ABBA sends me new hope in a very unexpected way...

In a friends miraculous pregnancy! (Note: we believe all pregnancy is a miracle, this particular case is a miracle within a miracle, defying medical expectations)

Even if we never get pregnant again...

I CAN still HOLD HOPE in my heart for miraculous possibilities AND gain joy in the miracles occurring around me, especially for those in friends I know and love. I have many blessings. Rejoicing for friends is definitely one of them. It is difficult to explain that amidst our own mourning, we still take joy in gift of Life that God blesses others with. We simply do. without question. God blesses those whom He chooses. and we are not left wanting. period.

Besides, have you seen the cute faces I see every day at my breakfast lunch and supper table!
:)

and we will see Sir Cadence in Heaven.

:)


No comments: