Monday, March 9, 2009

Hard to be ... Brave

Medium boy on his trusty steed

It is difficult to tell your child that they have to have surgery, again.

It is hard to prepare a child for it. It is hard to discuss it, much less repeatedly over a weeks time to help them prepare. I have to keep my informational/compassionate/brave face on.

The hardest thing about the surgery is actually letting them wheel him away in the wagon to the operating room. I am supposed to protect him, so it is difficult to let someone take him when I know they will return him to me, to us, in pain.

I feel sad and slightly scared, mostly sad. Yet, there are so many emotional points about this whole thing.

He is only 5.5 and has had Major surgery 3 times. He has had 2 leg casts and 3 Spica body casts. His surgeon has performed an osteotomy to his left hip, left knee and now to his right hip. He has broken his tibia - twice and his femur once (completely in half). He has had to wear Orthotic leg braces, multiple times for extended periods of time. He is such a brave trooper.

He is the most handsome, long haired little guy! He is a cheerful, sweet little man. He gets "tired" (I think stiff) in his joints after sitting in the car, even for a half an hour. He has an amazing threshold for deep pain.

He knows what color he wants his cast to be and he knows who (a little stuffed who) he is bringing into the operating room. He wants to know why he has to have surgery again... he is sad about having an operation. He wants Daddy to sleepover with him at the hospital and Mommy to be in the recovery room after surgery. He is choosing his options where he can and trying to be reasonable about the things he doesn't want to happen (like the entire surgery thing). He is looking forward to the yummy treats, like slushies and new sticker books. He is fighting not to be in tears about it all - I stand with him in that.

We talk about healing and Jesus and the peace that transcends all understanding.

I just feel so deeply for him. We all do.

The plate and pins should hold him until he grows off them. His legs are straighter now than they were before the first surgery. This surgery should align the hip so his leg length evens out. He should be able to walk with less a limp than he has now. It should alleviate some pain, after the surgical pain goes away.

One day, he will have to have all the pins removed from both hips and the growth plates fused together... one day far, far away from today.

It simply should be easier than this.

Little men need to be able to ride their steeds and to train to be knights in shining armor.


Lulu said...

Pain. This is a topic I've been thinking a lot about, experiencing some, and then watching other experience it. It's one thing for me to be in pain, but it really is another thing to have to let go of someone you really care about... let go, as if I ever had the control anyway... but, okay, let go and trust that God always had them anyway. You are the brave one, my friend.

minsco said...

Hi Paige! I love you!! I'm so bummed that I didn't know about any of this! I know now and want to be a good friend to you so let me know what I can do. I want to come visit since I figure you may be stuck at home during recovery time...I just e-mailed you earlier so hopefully we can work something out. Love you guys!

Gina said...

Praying for you...